radiationpoison (radiationpoison) wrote,
radiationpoison
radiationpoison

A little bit of tearful venting;



I don't normally post a lot of personal stuff on this journal, but I have no where else to turn in terms of advice or a place to get things off my chest. If you want to want to offer me advice, I will gladly take it with open arms, you only have to

I am confused as to what to do right now regarding things with my best friend. Actually, she is the only friend that I actually actively spend time with on a regular basis that has turned into an irregular basis as I never see her anymore. I have only seen her once since I brought her with me to the premiere in New York last month and she lives not even 15 minutes from me. Normally I'd chalk it up to her just being busy - she works, drives, has a boyfriend, and a crazy family, whereas I have/do none of those - but I go on Facebook today and see a photo just seeming to mock me.

As a fan of Harry Potter, a photo of a butterbeer and some ice cream shouldn't bother me, right? But in regards to this photo it meant once again I was never even thought of to be invited to Universal. I just feel so defeated right now, like she doesn't actually want to hang out with me for some reason unknown to me.

We used to hang out every Wednesday. It was the one day a week we had set aside so we could actually see each other. However, that is another source of confusion for me. Several times she has gone and made other plans with the excuse, "Oh, I didn't think we had anything planned." And I don't know how to explain to her that that really makes me feel forgotten and left out. I mean, she doesn't have set plans to do something with her boyfriend, yet she makes it to his place every Thursday without fail, and yet I'm just sitting in my house, wondering if a text, message, or a call is so difficult to do in order to explain to me before the day that you plan on ditching me.

And the worst part is, she is completely unaware that when I get upset over these things, the rest of my day turns to crap and I end up crying over something so stupid.

I just don't know what to do about any of it. It wouldn't be so bad if I actually had a large group of friends to hang out with. But no, I pretty much just have my one best friend and all the other people I know live 45 minutes to 1+ away from where I live and most of them expect me to find a away to get to them instead of wanting to come see me.

I'm tired of feeling so needy and alone all the time. Just when I think I'm feeling amazing after being able to go out after so long and feel good, I just get slapped back down by someone who is unaware of even doing it.

Has anyone ever had this situation happen or can look at it with some new eyes for me?
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